The Legend of Zelda: Ocarnia of Time Retold
by Yoshi the Llama Queen
Summary: This is my version of OoT. This story came to me in my own thoughts. This is my very first fanfic so please suggest things that would help me.
1. Chapter 1

(A.N)Yeah this is my version of Ocarnia of time. And to spice things up a bit, I added a new character! Whoopie! Yeah this story's all pimpish but it's gonna be awesome. So let's just think of this as one big Anime TV show.

**The Legend of Zelda: Ocarnia of Time (Retold)**

Chapter One 

"God damnit, I'm so fucking bored!" Leila was complaining. She was laying in the graveyard staring at the clouds in the clear freaking sky. She also had her husky, Senshi, with her. Leila was ten, part elf, and part wolf (don't ask). She had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Her teeth were pointy and she could growl like a wolf. Oh and she wore a green tunic like the Kokiri's. Senshi was part wolf too (they not related) and had unusual amber eyes. "Okay I've had enough I'm gonna go goddamn explorin'!"

She went to her house…well actually was a Bar but, hey what the hell! It was packed with thugs and gangsters. Hell she knew all of their names! Lets just say Leila has the weirdest friends…

"Yo, daddy-o! Imma go swimmin' in Hylia!"

"That cool with me just be back before dark. Ya don't want them goddamn Stalfos getting' ya."

"Aw man! I love to whoop their Asses!"

He sighed. "Ugh just bring the sword and shield just in case."

"Yay!" At this she took those goddamn suckers and skipped off merrily. Of course Senshi came, he goes everywhere with her! Yeah and she's running and running and running and running and running and running and ru- oh the hell with it! Then that goddamn psycho, Malon stopped her.

"Hey watsup?"

"Get outta my way, psycho creep!" Senshi started growling at Malon.

"Hey guess what!"

"Uhh… what?"

"…" She giggled. "HI!"

"God damn you bitch!" She pushed Malon outta the way and started running again towards the Lake. "Finally that bastard is gone!" She took off her armor then she dived her specialish dive into the water. "Ahh…perfect relaxation…" Then she felt something really hard, like a rock, hit her in the goddamn head. "What the fuck!" She saw an octorok, like, thirty-feet away from her. "God damn you…octopus thingy!" She dived quickly to the bottom, picked up a huge rock, and threw it at this bitch. It hit the Octo-thingy and it made a screech and swam away. "Take that you muthafucker! That'll teach ya to mess with me!"

After a few hours of swimming she noticed how dark it was. "Aw shit, Dad's gonna be pissed." She quickly swam out and grabbed the armor. C'mon Senshi let's go! After a few minutes of running and running and running and running and running, a damn Stalfo came out. "God damnit…" Quickly she took care of this motherfucker and quickly ran the rest of the way home.

When she got to the village she yelled, "HOLY SHIT!" Her village was destroyed, _completely _from head to toe (not literally). Then she heard a very loud voice in the distance.

"Oh hell no, not you."

"MUAHAHAHAHA! IT IS I, GANONDORF, THE KING OF EVIL AND-"

"Blah, blah, blah I get it already! Now waddya do this fer!"

"Ya know…I never really thought of it…I guess I was bored. WELL I MUST BE GOING. MY SOAP IS GONNA BE ON IN 5 MINUTES. FAREWELL FOOLISH BITCH. MUAHAHAHA!" Then he disappeared.

"Holy fudge I forgot about Dad!" Then she hurried of to her house. "Oh no…Dad! I- hey I found a nickel!" Senshi barked. "Oh yeah…must…focus…but nickel so…shiny!" Senshi growled. "Okay! Okay! Well I gotta bury dad. She took hold of her dad's collar and dragged him to the graveyard. Then, with the sword, she dug a grave for him. She tried to put her dad in gently, but dropped him into the grave instead. "Oops…my bad."

Once her dad was fully buried, she stood up and stared at the night sky. "Well Senshi, we gotta train hard so next time we face that pig, Ganondorf, we can kick his sorry ass." At this Senshi barked his happy little bark. "Hehe…I can see it now…" She imagined her defeating him. "Well we gotta start now if we gonna beat him." At this she took the sword and ran out to train with all her skills. (And trust me she didn't have many skills)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The Great Deku Tree was talking to Navi in the Kokiri forest. He was talking about how Navi had to find the boy-without-a-fairy. Navi agreed and headed off. "I wonder what could be so important that the Great Deku Tree has to tell this boy" Navi wondered. She shrugged and needed to find this boy. While she was talking to herself and plant thingy almost ate Navi. "Holy fuck!" she shouted in her small, high-pitched voice. "Damn bastard… Alright now I have to find the boy…"

**7 hours later_…_**

"Found him!" Navi cried happily. She went inside only to find Link sleeping. "Jesus Christ…WAKE UP YOU DAMN BASTARD! IT'S 3PM IN THE FUCKING AFTERNOON!" Finally after minutes of screaming Navi's pathetic head off, Link woke up. "Well it's about time! Ahem… Link I am your new fairy Navi. The Great Deku Tree has summoned you. Quickly we must go to him." Link agreed and left.

"Yoohoo Link!" Saria yelled from below.

"Aw c'mon…we don't have time for this…" Navi said. Link jumped down to see Saria.

She giggled. "Wow Link I see you have finally gotten a fairy! I'm so happy for you! Oh and th-"

"Yeah, yeah we don't have time for this shit." Navi butted in, "C'mon Link, lets go to the Great Deku Tree." Link obeyed and headed off to the Great Deku Tree's direction. When they got a there a Kokiri, Mido, standing in the way.

"Halt! Oh look, it's Mr. No Fairy. What's that? You have a fairy? AND the Great Deku Tree has su-"

"OKAY WE GET IT!" Navi screeched, "Look just let us pass already! Sheesh!"

"Sorry I can't do that"

Navi twitched. "And why not?" she said through gritted teeth.

"To pass you need a sword and a shield."

"Fine…" Then they left. "Link there's a path in the Training Grounds." She said quickly. They both went to the training grounds and stopped at a hole in the wall. Link stared at the hole. **15 minutes later… **"Okay! You've been staring at this hole forever! Just crawl through it! Stupid elf…" Link understood and crawled through the hole. When they were done there was this huge boulder. "Link follow that boulder until I say 'right'" **5 seconds later… **"Right!" Link turned right and there was this huge chest. Link opened the chest. Dun nu nu nu! (That stupid annoying music it makes every time you find something important/unimportant) "Whoopie. We found the sword. Equip already and lets buy a shield." Link equipped his sword and headed off.

Once they were out of the Training Grounds, they went to the shop and bought a shield. "40 rupees" said the shopkeeper. Link gave him the 40 rupees. Dun nu nu nu! "Ya know…that is _really_ gonna get on my nerves…" Navi said quietly. "Equip the damn shield and let's go." Link equipped his shield. Then they went back to where Mido was standing.

"What have I told you? You need a sw- Huh? You have a sword and shield equipped? Good grief! I guess I gotta let you pass…"

"That's right. Now let us through!" Navi said dramatically, and clapped her hands.

"Doncha think that was a bit over-dramatic?" Mido said annoyed and moved out of the way.

At the Great Deku Tree… 

"Oh Link…" Great Deku Tree said, "I'm so glad you're here. I-"

"I'll tell him!" Navi butted in (again) "The Great Deku Tree is cursed you gotta go beat this curse inside him, long story short" Navi said quickly. "And yes!" she said before the Great Deku Tree could say anymore, "he has the courage to do so." The Great Deku Tree opened his mouth. "C'mon Link…let's get this over with." And they climbed inside.


End file.
